How To Get Your Spouse Onboard
July 2010
"Uh, dear? Call your mother. We're not going to be able to get there for the reunion."
Now that's a conversation you don't want to have. Some airplane owners are lucky. They have a spouse who is also a pilot, or at least really enjoys traveling by private airplane. Many owners, however, have a spouse who tolerates the airplane at best. Hey, I don't like to participate in everything my wife does either.
So you may have to sell the idea of airplane ownership to your family. You usually do this by telling them about all the wonderful places you can fly together, including visits to your spouse's family. All's well until the first time you have to cancel a flight because of weather, or maintenance, or because you have a little head cold. If you're not careful in explaining a no-go decision, your whole airplane ownership experience can unravel. Worse, you may be pressured into taking a trip you really shouldn't have.
Create expectations
If you're going to successfully gain your spouse's support not only for airplane ownership, but also your decisions as pilot-in-command, you have to create the right expectations. I'm not talking anything underhanded here. Just tell the truth. Airplanes are fabulous traveling machines, but unlike cars they are more susceptible to weather conditions, are less forgiving of mechanical glitches, and operate in an environment that demands you be in tip-top health. If you or the airplane are VFR only or you fly an airplane not certified for ice in clouds in the winter, it's even more critical you have this discussion long before you're under a time crunch to make a flight.
Try something like this: "Hi, dear. You know how sometimes it's raining so hard you don't want to drive, or the wind is blowing so strong it's hard to keep the car on the road? Rain and wind affect how airplanes handle, too, and sometimes the conditions that make it hard to fly aren't as obvious as those that affect a car on the ground. Further, just because the weather's good here and Mom says it's sunny there does not mean it's good enough everywhere along the way. You put a lot of trust in me as pilot, and I appreciate that. So please trust that I'll have to make the final call whether it's safe to fly right now, or we need to wait it out a while."
Talk to your spouse about maintenance and medical factors, too. "Here's what we check before we fly, to make sure everything's safe. You certainly don't want to skimp on maintenance before you go up in an airplane. And the pilot's health is an important factor, too, much more than when driving a car. Just like the weather, you trust my judgment, and I'll have to check the airplane and my own health before we fly."
Include your spouse in risk management
"In fact, you can help me in the decision-making process. Let me teach you a little about weather, preflight inspections and Before Takeoff checklists so you can help make a decision for safety."
A good resource is King Schools' Practical Risk Management for Reluctant Passengers and their Pilots DVD. Take it together with your spouse. John and Martha King created the Practical Risk Management series at Avemco's request to help pilots, and their passengers, make better decisions. Complete the course and you may even qualify for a premium discount through the Avemco® Safety Rewards program. Contact your Avemco underwriter for details.
Time to spare, go by air–this old saw has some truth to it. If you need to be to the big event on Saturday don't risk missing it (or pressing on in bad conditions) by flying out that morning or even the evening before. Take an extra day off for a more flexible, leisurely schedule. Keep an alternate way to travel in mind just in case, and plan your departure time so you can revert to the back-up plan if you have a last-minute "no-go" item. Have your spouse help with these decisions.
The return trip
"I'll especially need your help and support making a safety decision for the flight home. There's a lot of temptation to dismiss safety on the return trip. Pilots even have a term for it-'get-home-it-is.' Together we'll make a back-up plan for getting home, and plan to leave early enough to use our back-up if needed to get there in time for work on Monday morning. We want to be at least as safe on the way home as we were on the flight out."
Getting maximum utility
Get maximum utility out of your airplane, and buy-in by your spouse, by keeping the airplane in top mechanical shape, practicing to keep your skills sharp, creating the right expectations about the airplane's utility, and involving your spouse in trip scheduling and the go/no-go decision.
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